Dear Tahlia,

Thirteen was a magical year of self-discovery for me. I began exploring and nurturing my lifelong passion for art. I didn’t have any official training but I borrowed lots of books from the library and copied and replicated things that I liked. Oftentimes, inspiration didn’t come to me until the middle of the night when the rest of the house was asleep. In the still of the night I felt connected to the universe and I found freedom, energy and creativity. I grabbed whatever I had around the house and started making art with it. Everything became my canvas and anything became my pallet. All the work that I did during this period eventually became part of my portfolio that earned me admission into Architecture school. Even to this day, I find that I am still most creative and energetic at night after everyone has gone to bed.

I also started my first job at 13. I worked at Baskin Robbins. I served ice-cream, made sundaes, milkshakes, worked the cashier and clean up the place after it closed. I was still quite short at the time and I actually had to use my ribcage to prop myself up on the counter in order to be able to reach the ice cream tubs at the very back of the freezer. The cash register was also very primitive and couldn’t calculate change so I had to make all the calculation in my head. I remember on the first day a customer came in with a $100 dollar bill to buy ice cream and asked if I had change. 1 scoop of ice cream back then was only $1.35. My little head was so overwhelmed with how much money I would need to return to him that I immediately told him that we didn’t have enough change and hoped that he would leave. Of course this was immediately cleared up by my manager who knew for certain that we had enough money in the till to give this man his change. Looking back I am really grateful and thankful that he gave thirteen year old me a chance. There was obviously a certain amount of risk as I was managing all the money in the cash register but I was also cheap labour earning only CAN$3.75 /hr. so I guess he benefited even more. Grandma and grandpa thought it was important for me to start working at a young age so that I could be independent and learn responsibility, cooperation, customer service, and organizational skills, as well as overcome my fear of talking to strangers. I had many jobs in my teen years and I worked to pay my way through school (tuition was much cheaper back then). I also worked especially hard the summer when I was nineteen and took on 3 different jobs in order to earn enough money to pay for my study abroad trip to Europe during my 4th year at undergraduate architecture school. I have always been lucky and have a collection of beautiful people in my life. My parents provided me the care, structure, discipline and sought out opportunities to give me the strength and determination I have today. My Godparents were the greatest angels and having them around was like having an extra set of parents to love me. I had a really wonderful English tutor who not only taught me English but went out of her way to spark my interest in different areas of natural science and literature. Shortly after thirteen I met some of my best friends. Their support and companionship helped me get through the tough and awkward teenage years. I can’t explain how we used to have so much free time or even so much to talk about but we used to talk on the phone for hours after school and then write letters to each other as soon as we go off the phone. Your grandparents literally had to lock all the phones away to prevent me from talking so much. I must have talked too much on the phone in my youth because I really dislike talking on the phone now. When I was sixteen I spent the summer working in Hong Kong and stayed with my cousins Peter and Irene. They welcomed me into their lives and treated me like their younger sister. I will always be grateful for their love and hospitality. When I got to university your Dad was my angel. He and his family showed me the type of compassion and selflessness that I had never known before. Their loves nurtured me and helped me to become a better person. Last but not least I am grateful that I have so many wonderful friends like Auntie Ryan and Auntie Helen who love me and understand me. As you start to become more independent and start to make decisions for yourself I want to offer 7 simple reminders to help you navigate the world ahead of you. Of course working hard and making wise choices goes without saying.

1. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL

You are beautiful, inside and out. You are a very considerate, generous, and compassionate girl. You have a heart of pure gold. You used to reach out to strangers to try to cheer them up. When you were 5 years old, you saw your aunties arguing so you drew them each a card and told them that they should cherish each other. There is so much empathy in your heart. As a mother, I was sometimes saddened to learn that people around you did not appreciate your intentions. Some took advantage of your kindness, some pushed you when you gave way and it has slowly made you more reserved and cautious. Please don’t change. Spread love wherever you go and just continue to be yourself. People might not appreciate your intentions right away but give love anyways. The love that you give might not come back to you directly, or it might come back in a different form but the energy of your love will never dissipate. It will always carry forward. Compassion and empathy are your best traits. They light up your face and allows your beauty to radiate from within. Don’t ever forget about this, don’t ever doubt this, don’t ever change this and don’t compare yourself with others. Just be the best version of yourself.

2. FOLLOW YOUR PASSION

You are such a creative person. Listen to your heart and it will guide you to your passions and your dreams. Don’t do what you think others expect you to do and don’t care too much about what others think. Just follow your heart and do what you MUST do without being limited by all the things that you SHOULD do. Don’t even let your father’s or my expectations deter you. Listen to your heart and do only what feels right. Work hard and chase after opportunities and things that you are passionate about and success will naturally follow.

3. BE FREE

Freedom is the ability to look at your calendar everyday and being able to say that everything that you did that day was a choice of yours. Turn things that motivate you into something that can sustain yourself. Merge your work and life so that your work becomes autobiographical, so that you become inseparable from your work. Use and explore your creativity to find something you are so passionate about that you can’t wait to get up everyday to start working on it. Travel: feed your mind, your heart and your soul.

4. BE GRATEFUL FOR ALL THINGS

See your life as full of possibilities. Start each day with a grateful heart. Take time to be thankful for everything that you have and never let the things that you desire overshadow the things that you already have. Help people around you who are in need. We gain the greatest wealth from helping others. Look for the image of God in love and make Love your religion. When I was about 13, I first read this quote and it has stuck with me as a very visual reminder of why I need to be grateful everyday. “I cried because I had no shoes… until I saw a man who had no feet..

life is full of blessings.. sometimes we are too blind to see them…” Appreciate and see beauty in the small things in life. Appreciate when people make an extra effort. Appreciate kindness and pay it forward. Never expect anything in return for the good deeds that you do. Only think of them as good seeds that you plant to nourish your heart. Appreciate beauty, art, nature and friendship.

5. PURGE

You will meet a lot of people in your life. You will meet amazing people who will inspire you, people who will challenge you. Some will test you. Some will hurt you. Some will take advantage of you. Everyone will bring a lesson worth learning but you don’t need to keep everyone in your life. Keep only the ones that understand you and bring out the best in you. Purge and get rid of all the toxic people who leech from you, hurt you or put you down. “Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and Thinkers but most of all surround yourself with those who see greatness within you.” Do the same with bad thoughts, bad memories and useless possessions. Purge them from your life to make room for better things.

6. LIVE WITHOUT REGRET

Understand that time is precious and life is fragile. Take care of your health and that of your loved ones. Live every day to the fullest so that there is no regret or need to look back. Be spontaneous, be flexible and be adaptable. When you have these three qualities you can let your heart lead you anywhere in the world and you will not feel lost or scared. In fact sometimes getting lost is the best way to explore. Getting lost is the best way to find yourself. It is often boring and dull to travel a well routed, predictable path. Leave room for the unexpected.

7. START NOW

Start today and start without delay. I spent so much of my youth saving things, collecting things and dreaming about projects that I wanted to start. I saved stickers, erasers, candles and even soap. I treasured these these things so much that I didn’t use them and they were destroyed over time. I overthought my ideas too much I never took action. What I wish I had done was enjoyed my collections and started my ideas when I had the chance. Savour the moment. Start now!

Love, Mom